trek the stars tuesday: mission possible…

it's tuesday!  and i'm talking in red.  why am i talking in red?  well because today's lesson from tj, our favourite teen aged self-help ass, err, guru is kinda long.  so long that i'm not going to be able to politely hold off on commenting until then end as i usually do and i want you to be able to tell the difference between my no capitalization, crappy because i didn't pay attention in english class punctuation style and his random capitalization, editor didn't give a damn enough about a book that should have never been published style.  tj is a guest so i'll let him be the usual grey…

"The white tunnel of snow to and fro as the sledge being pulled by massive husky dogs raced on.  The lady gripped the rope, steering the dogs, as she skidded along at an incredible pace.  Her face was calm, composed but radiant.  The lips were drawn to a luscious curl and the eyes smiled.  It had to.  Lady Croft had battled enormous odds, destroyed mummies of stone, discovered ancient secrets, stopped evil men from gaining control of time et cetera, et cetera, et cetera…"

WHAT THE FUCK?!?  i'm not even shitting you i nearly vomited after reading this tj.  for the love of anything that's holy i beg you to tell me you're not referencing a video game in your "self help" book.  unless of course this fucking chapter is about how to get god mode in tomb raider…

"Lara Croft of Tomb Raider, Charlie's Angels, James Bond, Rambo, all have on essential ingredient that makes them who they are.  Not just that they are all totally dashing, but they all have one quality that makes them what they are.  It's called the perseverance factor."

THEY'RE ALL FAKE!  FUCKING FAKE.  MADE UP.  WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?  the one thing that makes them what they are is that they've all had too many sequels that made people forget the original movie or show was actually pretty decent.

"Why think of only Hollywood blockbusters?  Our film industry is not too different.  How often have you seen a Karan, Raj, or Rohit giving up…"

this cocksucker makes me hate my ellipses…

"I never have.

Irrespective of the fact whether it is winning a beautiful woman's heart or avenging ugly villains, the message that is always shouted out is simple.  No matter what happens don't give up.  Just don't give up !"

i can't honestly say that statement resembles anything understandable in any language recognized on this planet.  what the fuck did you just say?

"Yes.  It's ONLY a movie.

But movies too can teach us a lot.

Is the Never-Say-Die attitude found only among the on-screen superheroes?  No way.  All great men and women who have succeeded have it.  Flick through the history books and you'll find it pouring with tales of such people.

So what exactly is perseverance?

The definition is pretty simple.
NEVER
EVER
Ever
Ever
Ever
Ever
Ever
Ever
Ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever GIVE UP !"

STOP!  I FUCKING GET IT.  i don't know about anyone else but i hope ole tj had the same seizure i did typing "ever" 28 times.  holy shit if i find out this cocksucker just copied and pasted that shit until he thought he had enough i'll suffocate him with my dick.  who the fuck looked at 28 "evers" spread over 10 lines and said "yes, this is a book people need to read?"  that person should be fucked in the ass with the bottle of white out they should have used on 27 "evers" then forced to lick it clean.

"No matter what roadblocks you have to face, no matter what hurdles you have to cross, no matter how many 'impossible' situations you have to turn around in order to reach your goals, never give up, but keep going."

the last two phrases of your giant run on sentancegraph MEAN THE SAME THING.

"new years resolutions are fun things.  Hundreds of people all over the world make them.  But I guess a little over 5% keep them.  The reason why human beings give up so easily are many."

hundreds of people?  hundreds of the billions of people on the planet?  you're not fucking serious are you?  and where does this 5% figure come from?  you guess?  so what you're saying is out of all the resolutions (all hundreds of them) only about 50 will be kept.  50 people will make and keep a resolution?

"Could be the lack of motivation for their goals is the problem.  The goals are not BIG and BRIGHT enough for them to actively pursue.  Really, you can't expect yourself to be excited and challenged by mediocre goals.  That never happens.

Or else it could be the perception problem.  Even small hurdles are looked at with the end-of-the-world attitude.  Challenges, problems, hurdles, toughies are all a part of the goal achieving process.  You can't expect your path to be a national highway always, there are going to be muddy roads and narrow paths."

toughies?

"Another thing could be the lack of bodybuilding.

Yup.

Lack of muscle development.

Hey don't look so shocked.  I'm talking about the PQ muscle.  PQ stands for Perseverance Quotient.  The art of remaining glued to your goals and resisting the temptation to give up.  It is just like any other muscle in your body.  The more you practice using it, the better it gets."

right about now i'm going to cry.  tj, you went form babbling about movie characters to inventing a fucking muscle.  in between you tried to make the brain of your readers rebel against them and cease operating.  was that your goal?  was it your mission to see how many folks you could get to forget they had air breathing lungs and plunge their heads into a bathtub of soothing lukewarm water and draw in a deep breath filling the lungs with water as their bodies rebel sending them into a coughing fit drawing more unwanted water in?  is that your suicide pact tj?

teen self help guru
making sense doesn't matter
fuck you tom jacob