y’all sell pornography…?

last time i talked about games i play while i was at work.  on the train home i remembered on of my newer favourite games to play in public…the "do you sell pornography" game.  it's a pretty simple game, you walk up to someone who works somewhere and ask them if they sell pornography.  it's much like the penis game (if you don't know what that is we'll get to it someday) the object is to say it as loud as you can, though unlike the penis game you don't want to scream…just draw attention to the word pornography.

as with most other things i do for fun, the object of the game is to make someone feel incredibly uncomfortable.  most folks are embarrassed by human sexuality and any expression of it, therefor this game is perfect.  i came up with it at the hicksville stop of the lirr.  i had about 10 minutes to wait for my train and wanted to amuse my cousin.  i saw that the stand did in fact have pornography and since the guy at the counter seemed like the timid type, i decided to try it out.

me:  *to shop guy* excuse me, do you sell pornography here?
shop guy:  (he heard me) huh, what?
me:  *waits for a few more people to come over, speaking louder* do you sell PORNOGRAPHY here?

without looking at the racks full of smut he was peddling, the cashier nodded with his head in the direction of the porn.  is there anything better than the shame of a man who abhors the thought of porn yet has no problem profiting form it?  i submit there is not.

the game can also be fun to play when you're shopping at a venue that you know wouldn't have porn at all.  basically you'd be going solely for shock value in these situations.  think of the fun you could have asking the cashier at the grocery store or drug store if they had any smut for sale.  or perhaps your local bed, bath, and beyond? 

me:  excuse me do you sell pornography here?
bed bath and beyond girl:  what?  no
me:  are you sure?
bbbg:  of course i am
me:  then what are all those little towels you sell for?

there is one place the game simply won't work…

me:  excuse me, do you sell pornography here?
porn shop owner guy:  what the fuck is wrong with?  do you not see?

it can't all be gold, eh?