so i was downstairs making some pasta for dinner with the food network on (as it often is). hey look, there's rachael ray on a commercial again! i was stirrin' the pasta so i didn't have time to flip off to espn as i normally would, so i watched the commercial. as i watched i realized this commercial was for rachael ray's dog food…fucking dog food.
right about then is where my brain started yelling at me WHY DOES RACHAEL RAY HAVE A DOG FOOD, WHY DOES RACHEL RAY HAVE A DOG FOOD, WHY DOES RACHAEL RAY HAVE A DOG FOOD?!?!?
a few minutes later i awoke with blood dripping from my nose and a puddle of it on the floor (does rachael rae have blood cleaner?).
here's the deal. rachael ray is all good in my book. aside from the man hands and being from buffalo i'd totally fuck her. and i'd absolutely let her cook for me too. who doesn't love 30 minute meals when she randomly grabs all the shit she could possibly carry and try to bring it to the counter? granted i'm rooting that she trips and drops everything and yes i realized it's a taped show and they wouldn't let em see it if she did, but it's still fun to hope.
i just don't get it. i realize she tends to be popular and sticking her name on things will probably sell them, but dog food? why would anybody go to the pet store and say "hey here's rachael ray's dog food. rachael knows what my pet needs to be healthy."? they wouldn't. she's a cook and a talk show host. neither of those remotely qualifies her to have a dog food.
next thing you know we'll be seeing matt lauer tampons or something.
"hi i'm matt lauer and i put some cotton on a string…"
rachael ray's dog food
i'm totally serious
it really exists
who would buy this shit
just those with a low iq
brain can't comprehend
