ya gotta be fucking kidding me? i’m without my phone for two days and of course something happens worth rambling about. i’ve no connection to the net so i can’t just speed through and get it up there for everyone to see and that makes me sad. it’s 8:07 pm monday november 17. i imagine i’ll throw this up on wednesday, so if i were doc brown’s dog einstein you should expect me to appear as if nothing happened around that time.
the bright side is i get to go home and quite comfortably pick a picture to accompany this post. $100 says it’s a half naked red head. another $100 says if i don’t find one with a phone, i won’t care.
so i’m sittin here at work dickin around playin 3d pinball space cadet (created by maxis)since i have no way to surf the web or anything of the ilk.
phone starts ringing and getting picked up and ringing again and getting picked up. i realize that it’s probably my bosses kid fuckin around with the phones again. i don’t (i guess i should say didn’t) really know what he does in there, but i do know a couple of times he’s picked up a call that wasn’t meant for him and hung up immediately. this is annoying because then the person (usually his dad’s boss) calls back and wonders aloud why i don’t know how to use a phone properly at the age of damn near 30.
i finally get sick of the phone ringing back and forth and use the intercom to call my boss’ office.
me: what the hell are you doing in there?
boss’ kid: (couldn’t sound more guilty btw) what? i don’t know? what are you talking about?
me: what’d i tell you about messing with the phones?
*the phone rings* *i pick up* *i listen to the message as the kid is on the other line*
me: ok, seriously…what the fuck are you doing in there?
bk: nothing!
me: so you haven’t been calling phone sex lines?
bk: what? no. no.
me: so i’m not listening to the call back feature of a sex line you just dialed?
*he picks up the outside line* *we listen to the message tell us a hot horny girl will help us stroke our cock[s] if we put in a credit card number*
bk: i don’t know what happened!
me: so you didn’t dial a phone sex line? you know these get billed as international numbers, right?
bk: omigod, omigod
me: seriously, you need to stop. didn’t i tell you to stop?
bk: you’re not gonna tell my dad are you?
me: just stop.
*we hang up*
the phone rings on and off again for a couple of minutes. finally the kid runs out to my desk asking if i knew how to make it stop. i told him i had no idea, but if he just let it ring out it would likely cease. he runs back to the office and it does finally stop.
the moral of the story is that the kid has been hanging in his dad’s office without supervision for a couple of weeks now. this random phone action has happened every time he’s been in there. i can really only think of one reason to attempt to call a phone sex line…
that’s right, this kid is prolly whackin’ his bag in his dad’s office.
i will never look at my boss the same way again knowing he’s likely sat right in a dried up vat of his baby boy’s baby batter. that when he saw a chalky white spot on his desk and scratched it, he was lodging some of his kid’s tadpoles under his thumbnail.
and there’ll be a song in my head. gotta love stephen lynch…
that explains it!
however, i don’t want to imagine your buss scratching those chalky spots in his desk or so.
hahhaa!!! this is funny!!!
Hopefully the boss doesn’t think it was you calling those lines!
@ jacy i have laughed my ass off doing nothing but imagining him scratching the chalky spots.
@ ally thanks love!
@ mik i am waiting for the day the building’s phone bill comes in. i know i’ll be gettin a call into the office. you have no idea how badly i want it to come too. all i think about is the material i’ll have to ramble about for days.