doing what i do, it's quite easy to get bored. even on the busiest of days, i'm still looking at the same bunch of folks i've been looking at for years. so…i gotta make it interesting (and sadly no one wants to gamble).
i like to call my game "i have no sense of humour." apparently, people think they're funny. i'm not certain where most of them got this idea, but they did. so what i do is let them use their funny lines and i stare right at em as if they told me my dog just died.
we had a good example just today:
me: hi, can i help you sir?
unfunny person: yes i'm here to see…
me: sure, your name please?
up: tell her it's her brother. *chuckles*
in all honesty this first one wasn't funny at all. i don't think it was ever intended to be funny, but the fun for me came in completely deadpanning his chuckles. i'm not sure why he chuckled nor did i care, all i know is i made him completely uncomfortable by staring directly at him and having no response.
i did laugh my ass off at him as soon as he was out of sight.
more fun comes with people who give nicknames:
me: good afternoon sir, can i help you?
unfunny person: hi, i'm here for…
me: and your name?
up: i'm big mike. *big grin*
"big mike" is funny (i guess) because mike is a scrawny piece of shit. no one would ever mistake mike for big if he had stilts surgically attached to his legs. there's a very slight chance mike has a huge dick and has been going through life using the description of his 10 inch member; however he was visiting a woman who's been married longer than i've been alive and odds are she and her hubby aren't going to openly joke about his cock.
yup, i had a warm feeling in my soul as mike walked away awkwardly twiddling his thumbs wondering why the guy at the desk didn't think he was funny.
i always look forward to the comedians the most, they always make space to get their bits in and i love no sellin' em:
me: hi, what can i do for you?
unfunny person: hi, how are you?
me: not bad thanks, yourself?
up: doin' ok *pauses for a beat* it's pretty windy out there.
me: yeah, a little chilly too.
up: i almost blew away!
me: blew away? the wind almost lifted you off your feet and took you somewhere you didn't want to be?
up: well…
me: wow, i heard it was gusting up to 25 miles per hour, must be harder if you almost blew away?
up: *looks at me being mr. literal ass*
me: and who are you here to see today?
there is one guy i do laugh at while he's at the desk. he's a variation on nickname guy. generally he overstates his possible connection to my resident.
me: hi, what can i do for you sir?
unfunny person: i'm here for…
me: and your name?
up: tell her it's the love of her life.
me: *no sells the line as i call resident*
me: (to resident) hi, the love of your life is here.
me: (to resident) alright, thanks. *chuckles while talking* (to up) you can go right on up sir…
me: *watches as guy wonders in his head whats so damn funny as he awkwardly walks away*
this particular game originated when one of my residents did make a smart ass comment about the guy i was calling up for, but the beauty of it is even if she makes no such comment…the guy doesn't know that.
Hahaha, that’s great. I must say I’m guilty of the same thing, when people just are getting under my skin. I dont’ necessarily get mean, just don’t validate them.
This is a great game, I like it too! It is also fun on the subway or other places where people want you to notice/admire them, and you studiously avoid looking at them or noticing them in any way.
Your version is more direct and thus more fun though.
@ stefan i try not to be actively mean…but i’m ok with passively if i get to laugh after (=
@ lidian never thought to play on the subway. i usually have headphones in and my head in a book. though it would probably work with the kids trying to sell “candies.”
How come every 3rd post is about how you hate someone just like me?