so it's world series of poker time on espn. i know this because i haven't been feeling well of late and rather than sit at my pc miserable i've been laid out on a couch miserable. this has led to much tv time for lil ole me.
i like poker, i really do. and much like other lesser known "sports" like the national spelling bee, scrabble, and soccer it was always kinda neat to see the bigger events on tv. it's something that normal everyday people do for fun and it's always interesting to be able to pick up some new tricks for your $50 buy in night of drinking with the guys game.
then everyone decided it was the coolest fucking things ever and netflix couldn't keep rounders in stock and poker players became divas.
the biggest bitch of em all is phil hellmuth. i s'pose it was kind of amusing way back when, everybody was serious and ya had to have someone be interesting so that the consecutive lame hands were worth watching. but then something happened. dumb asses started selling houses and taking out loans for their chance to be the next big poker star! chris moneymaker inexplicably went from an internet nobody to a world series main event winner. everyone had a chance to be on tv…if they could only be interesting.
and that's when it started getting old. ok, ok we get it. you wear sunglasses inside. and you only wear a backwards hat. and you have a lucky tuft of your aunt's pubic hair. and you like to banter and read poetry as if anyone gives a damn.
so phil decided to step it up. he started wearing obnoxious jerseys ala scott ferell because everybody just LOVES scott and his raspy voice that you wish everyday was because he had throat cancer.
and he always shows up late to the main event. how cool is he? he takes his sweet ass time then whines when he's running low on chips. does he ever think to himself "hey maybe had i played one or two of those hands i wasted my blinds on, i might have more chips"?
and the worst is his bitching when someone beats him. in the last show i watched he lost to queens full of threes while he was betting ace-two off suit and threw a hissy fit that the guy had the nerve to re-raise him with queen-three. because why would you stay in the game when you pair both your queen and three on the flop? that's fucking ponderous.
and phil's not the only one. he's just the worst.
do we really need to stand for every "all in?" do we need to dance when we win said encounter?
the nfl is doing their best to curb disruptive behaviour like that. when you sack a quarterback or score a touchdown you've ACTUALLY DONE SOMETHING. i'm not saying it's always warranted, but at least you're celebrating an accomplishment. randomly having a 10 of clubs come out of a deck of cards is not an accomplishment of any sort, just take your fucking chips and have a sip of you beverage.
that feels better…i'm gonna go continue to not be able to sleep now. g'night.
